Let's Talk
About Conflict
With Bess de Boer
Are you ready to learn how to truly resolve the
difficult conflicts in your relationships, business and life?
Conflict doesn’t have to be disastrous
This MasterClass will provide you with practical, powerful - and at times counter-intuitive - strategies, that you can apply to embrace the conflict you’re facing with awareness. This will help you navigate and resolve the conflict in a way that goes beyond resolution and makes HEALING the relationship possible.
Beneath Every Conflict is a Wound
Waiting to be Healed.
To truly resolve any type of conflict, you need to brave diving deep under its surface – to methodically, patiently, and compassionately unearth and attend to the human story that’s driving it. In business, in personal relationships,or between nations. It's our capacity for deep connection that sets us apart as humans.
Have you ever felt powerless
or trapped inside a conflict?
Is this you..?
Intimidated by and fearful of the person you are in conflict with
Facing a conflict in an intimate relationship
At an impasse with a difficult family dynamic
Struggling with a co-worker, business partner, or superior who stands in the way of your performance, a business deal, or a job you’re trying to do
Unsure how to successfully navigate a sensitive or difficult conversation you need to have
Looking for a solution that doesn’t leave you broken
Feeling misunderstood, that the other person either bulldozes you in the conversation or shuts down
Stuck in a loop of reactivity, not seeing any solutions
Blinded by uncontrollable anger with the conflict seeping into your entire life
Most of us respond to difficult conflict in one of two ways:
1
We either, demonize the other through an ‘us vs. them’ divide setting up an unconscious script of ‘good vs. evil, that incites war.
2
We surrender by settling and accepting it as the inevitable on the surface, while the relationship hides a permanent fracture underneath.
But every conflict can be transformational!
By the end of this MasterClass, you’ll:
Learn to uncover the human story and wound that lies beneath the surface and is driving the conflict
Be empowered to effectively navigate any conflict situation, regardless of how intense or immovable
Learn the importance of suspending your own emotions and reactions to deeply listen and shift the conflict dynamic
Understand and heal the trauma that comes from a high conflict experience
Gain insight into how to make a relationship better, work with others more effectively, and grow as individuals
Free yourself from the conflict trap
Find the presence to rise above your fear and make the other person feel safe enough to stop their fear-driven attack
Shift the conflict dynamic by validating the other person without losing yourself
Redefine the way you view and how you relate to the person on the other side of the conflict
Identify and manage destructive, fear-triggered reactions, in yourself as well as the ones on the other side of the conflict
Bess is a perfect guide to empower so many to navigate conflict. A class act, wise and kind-hearted.
Bess has a natural ability to untangle underlying issues at the core of a problem and with compassion and attentiveness, is able to reveal possibilities and bring positivity to challenging situations. She saved my marriage and empowered our relationship. I highly recommend her expertise and calm approach to conflict resolution.
Resolving conflict in a kinder,
more humanistic way
Bess’s unorthodox approach to resolving even the most immovable conflicts will shift how you instinctually think and behave in the face of difficult conflict and bring understanding that the conflict you’re facing has the potential of taking you deeper into your humanity.
Her methodology gives you the tools to come into balance, increase your mental clarity, flexibility, equanimity and appreciation for the relationship – even when it’s acrimonious.
This MasterClass will show you how to navigate high conflict with grace and compassion and without feeling threatened, trapped, or helpless.
The healthy and unhealthy CONFLICTS:
Signs of healthy conflict:
Questions asked with a genuine desire to understand
People on both sides are looking to find a solution
Humility
A mix of emotions, rather than a fixation on just one
A depth and complexity to the conflict
Passion
Curiosity
Feeling bad when the other is struggling
Signs of unhealthy conflict:
Being fixed on your position
Having certainty about being right
Holding onto one emotion that dominates the situation
Predictable reactions
Positions of righteousness
Hard and fast assumptions
A kind of joy and satisfaction in the battle
Feeling happy when bad things happen to the other person
What presents as the issue on the surface, is rarely what truly drives the conflict.
High conflict, and sometimes, even a heated disagreement, can bring feelings of rage, fear and defeat. It can sap your energy and pull you into a trap of frustration and vulnerability.
As the conflict escalates, the mind becomes more driven by fear, closing down your ability to see options and solutions.
Before you know it, you’re so entrenched in the conflict and the layers of reactions to it that you’ve reached an, often explosive, impasse.
Bess’s revolutionary approach shows that there’s always a way to reconcile, even through the deepest differences. A collaborative, solution-seeking process that is deeply rooted in understanding the human condition and the fears that drive it, and focusing on the most important commonality – shared humanness.
Bess unravels layers of preconceptions people bring to their disputes, in order to facilitate an understanding of the true issues from which conflict resolution takes root. Her knowledge and intuitiveness, as well as a razor-sharp focus on exploring all aspects of the conflict, create a unique opportunity for resolution not seen in traditional mediation.
Bess is extraordinarily gifted at building solutions in situations that seem unsolvable. She is a profound peacemaking force in this world.
Thank you for the wisdom and empathy that you brought to a situation that I believed was unsolvable. I am stunned at the grace and fairness with which you handled both sides of this emotionally charged situation.
Meet Your Healer
Bess de Boer
Bess de Boer is a courageous trailblazer who became a courtroom lawyer at 24, and the youngest partner at a cutting-edge law firm by 26. She was trained as a warrior in the courtroom with a record of wins.
But the more cases she won, the more she realized the courtroom never offered true resolution. It still left devastating wreckage behind and the human relationships remained broken.
From a young age Bess was passionate about building bridges between people, helping them work together rather against one another. So she made the life-changing decision to head to Harvard Law School and study conflict resolution in a new way. A way that begins with understanding the human story and the fear that hides beneath the surface, driving the conflict.
Bess now successfully guides people in business and personal situations to deconstruct and heal the wounds that are behind the conflict. She helps them see themselves, the other side of the story, and find true, lasting solutions.
What's Included
2-hour live MasterClass
Q&A with Bess
Access to the replay
Bonus Material!
A workbook showing you how to work through a difficult conflict
